What The Hell?
by emobutters
Summary: Stan has an idea... Rated M for later chapters :
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own south Park

**Ohk, so this has some smex scene in later chapters so yeah... :)**

Chapter 1

**Kyle's POV**

I have been waiting for my super best friend to show up at my house for what seems like hours. Finally, I hear a knock at the door. It was Stan. Finally! My Mum answered the door and escorted the raven haired boy up to my room.

"Hey dude! About time you showed up!"

"Hey, it's not my fault that crazy bitch Wendy was trying to get back up with me. I don't know how many times I have to tell her that I don't love her anymore…" Stan chuckled.

"Yeah, she needs to get it through her thick head. So anyway, what do you wanna do?" I ask him.

Well, I did have an idea….."

"And what would that b-" I was cut off by Stan's lips pressed up against mine, and surprisingly I kissed him back. What was I doing? Stan was my super best friend for Christ's sake! Stan pushed me back so he was lying on top of me on my bed. He slid off my hat and runs his hand through my red now dead straight hair. I started to move my hands down his toned abs until I get down to the zipper of his black skinny jeans. I start to unzip them, and he stops me.

"Dude, what's wrong?" I ask him as he gets off my bed. He walks towards the door pulling out his phone.

"Just gonna go make a call." He replies as he walks into my bathroom to make it. I could hear him talking, but I didn't actually know what he was saying or who he was talking to. It's a good thing we stopped making out, because literally 10 seconds after Stan came back to my room after making his call, my mother walked in to inform us that dinner was ready.

I was still wondering who Stan was on the phone to. He told me it was a surprise and I had to wait about half an hour for it. I really wanted to know what it was, so I quickly ate my dinner and plunked myself on the lounge. About five minutes later, Stan joins me. There was an awkward silence probably due to our making out session in my bedroom about 15 minutes ago. We didn't say a single thing to each other until there was a knock at the door. We both got up to answer it. It was Kenny.

"Oh hey Kenny, what are you doing here?" I ask him.

"I invited him over, come on in Kenny." Stan says.

"Mum!" I call out to my mother who was in the kitchen still cleaning up from dinner. "Kenny's gonna stay the night too."

"All right, don't make too much noise though." She calls back.

The three of us walked up the stairs and into my bedroom. I was the last one in. Kenny and Stan were already sitting on my bed staring at me.

"What? Is there something on my face?" I ask. They both giggle at me. "So Stan, what was your surprise? It's been half an hour." They both look at each other with big smirks on their faces, and then they look at me.

"You. Me. Stan. Threesome. Now." Kenny said, still with the smirk on his face.

**Did you like it? Please reveiw and tell me if ya did... then i might put up the next chapters. :D**

**Please If you didn't like it, please dont right shit about it. i might just cry if ya do... :|**


	2. Chapter 2

**ok guys, so just to let you know, i really suck at writing sex scenes, so if this one is really crappy that would be why...**

**Anyways thanks for the reveiws so far and i shall try to put the feedback to use.. :)**

Chapter 2

What? Did Kenny really just ask for me to have a threesome with him and Stan? Sure he was joking right? Nope, he had that serious look on his face. Wow. I don't know to react. I was still kind of shocked. But I really couldn't believe what I was about to do. I nodded my bright red head very slowly. Great! Now I was fucking blushing. Stan and Kenny's grin grew even wider at my response. They really didn't think I would agree to this. What if my mother found out? My world would practically be dead. But this was alright though wasn't it? Having a threesome with my best friends. Just an experiment. I wonder what was going through Stan and Kenny's mind. Probably stoked that they were getting some. But something strange was going through mine. Why did I agree to this? Well lately, I have been having these weird dreams about Stan. I dreamed about what I'm sure was about to happen, but without Kenny. Kenny pulls out a condom which he had been hiding in his orange parker. He passes the condom to Stan. They start to shred my clothes off and then they start on their own. Stan pushes me onto my bed roughly. He seductively growls at me. He pushes his lips against mine and slowly starts kissing down my neck and eventually starts liking my thighs. Man that felt good. Was Kenny getting turned on by this? He better of been, because I certainly was! Just then I had a thought in my head. I was about to lose my virginity to 2 guys, which just so happened to be best friends. Wow…

I don't know how it happened, but we were in a really awkward position. I was lying with my back on my bed, Kenny was above me, and guess what I was doing? Sucking his dick. He was panting heavily and letting out loud moans of pleasure. Stan was sitting on the end of my bed, he was thrusting in and out of me like crazy! It hurt like hell for the first few minutes, but them it because hell as pleasurable. We both let out load groans.

"Oh god Stan! Don't Stop! Harder! Faster!" I yelled. It was a bit hard though, considering I still had Kenny's dick in my mouth.

"Trust me, I won't stop until your shaking! This is FUCKING AMAING!"

"Kyle! I'm gonna-OH GOD!" Kenny yells in pleasure as I feel a warm squirt hit the back of my throat. I suck it all up and continue on what I was doing. Some of it still dripping of the corners of my mouth. God, there was cum everywhere! A mixture of all three of ours all over my stomach, all over my mouth and all over my bed sheets and on the floor. We kept at this for at least another 3 minutes, moaning and yelling in pleasure. It was all going great until I see my Mum standing at my door. FUCK! I wonder how long she was standing there for before I released her. I remember everyone was still home. I also remember that I forgot to lock the door. Why the fuck were we doing this at my house?

**Didn't i tell ya i suck at this? There ya go.. next chapter will probably be up in a few days! Any ideas anybody?**

**Please reveiw :D**

**Thankies :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to Kyleisgod for their reviews, they are really handy. I know I am rushing things so I am trying to stop, but I seriously can't think of anything to write, so that's why the chapters are very short. Hope you guys like this chapter! :D **

My Mum was gob smacked. She was all for gay rights, but seeing her own son and two of his best friends at it… Oh god. I'm dead.

"KYLE BROFLOVSKI! What on Earth are you boys doing?" She shouted at us. We quickly pull ourselves out from one another . She knew perfectly well what we were doing, so why the fuck did she ask? I guess she is just utterly shocked. She had only come up to my room to see what all the yelling and moaning was all about, she really didn't expect to see that. For about a minute we just stare at one another. Stan looked like he was about to cry. All of a sudden I feel something wet on my stomach. I looked down to see what it was. Why the fuck was Kenny licking all the cum off my stomach? Seriously dude? My Mum was standing right there! I swat him away harshly and hiss at him. He backs off and hides under the dirty sheets with Stan, whilst I was still sitting up on my bed, exposed to my Mum. I got off my bed and walk over to her.

"Mum, I can explain!"

"Oh my gosh, Kyle! There is nothing to explain!" She ran off down stairs. I can hear her screaming and crying downstairs. I'm still standing close to my door when Ike pokes his head through the door. *Click* FUCK! Ike just took a photo of us naked!

"Haha, fuck, you guys are in soo much trouble!" Ike chuckles as he puts his phone away and runs off down the hall to his bedroom. Great! What the fuck was he going to do with that picture? Send it to his fucking friends? Perfect. Just fucking perfect. The last thing I want is that picture sent to Cartman. For some reason, Kenny had a look of accomplishment on his face. I couldn't be bothered to run after Ike, I wanted to sort this shit out first.

"Dudes, what are we going to do now?" I ask.

"Keep fucking?" Kenny asks. He wasn't joking. Both me and Stan slap him and look at each other. We both get up and start to put our clothes back on, whilst Kenny still lays in my bed. I think he was too exhausted to get up.

"God, what were we thinking? I mean, were super best friends, NOT fuck buddies, right?" I ask Stan as we sit back on the side of my bed. He didn't answer me. He just sat there looking at his feet. After a few minutes he started crying.

"*Sniff* Kyle…..I,I-" He was cut off by a knock at my door.

"Boys? Is it ok if I come in?" My Dad asks.

"Yeah, come on in dad…."

He pops his head in first, just to make sure we were all clothed, well Stan and I were anyway, luckily Kenny was under my sheets though. He was now asleep, so it was just practically me, Stan, and Dad. Great. My dad came and sat in the chair at my computer desk. He didn't really want to come too close to my bed sheets.

"Stan, Kyle…. I don't really know what your mother saw, but from her reaction and from what she could tell me so far, I don't really think what she saw was pretty." Now we were both looking at our feet. I was blushing and Stan was still lightly crying. I didn't want my mother to see what she saw. My dad came closer so he was sitting on my bed with us. He tilted my head up so we were eye level. Now I was about to cry.

"Whatever your relationship is with Stan, I'm here for you boys okay?" My Dad says. We both nod and he gives us a warm hug. "Oh and Stan, Sheila has already called your parents, as well as Kenny's. They'll be here anytime soon. Sorry, I wish I could have given you boys some more time to talk, but you know how Sheila is."

"Thanks Dad, this means a lot" I say. And with that, my Dad walks out closing the door behind him.

"Dude, I've been going crazy, I don't want to waste another minute here." Stan quotes from his favourite song.

"What?" I reply back.

"I'm serious dude. We need more time. Let's go."

"Yeah? And where the fuck would we go?"

"Just follow me" Stan grabs my arm and pulls me towards the window. We climb down the rope that Stan had put there many years ago. He grabs my hand again and we run of down the road. It was really fucking freezing outside. Stan hadn't let me put on my jumper so yeah, I was fucking freezing, well apart from face. It was red hot. I was blushing. And that was due to Stan holding on to me as we were running. It was pitch black outside. The only thing I could see was Stan's face next to mine. Then I remember. We left Kenny asleep naked on my bed. All well. As long as I was escaping for a while with Stan, I couldn't care less.

**Ohk, so I tried to make it a bit longer. It's around 800 words this time. I tried not to make so much stuff happen in one chapter. Please review and help me out guys. Thanks, next chapter shall be up soon I hope. :D**


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